DREAM a Little Dream of Me....

"Sweet Dreams 'til sun beams find you,
Sweet Dreams that leave our worries behind you.
But in your Dreams Whatever they be...
Dream a little dream of me."

Gorgeous song by the Mama's and Papa's, it went through my head today while I was thinking about how my Dreams are manifesting. What I mean is that I am Dreaming of "ME" again, letting my dreams come back to me, things that I've dreamed of all of my life, the things that my heart dreams. I've been ignoring them for too long, making excuses, and playing my roles in life (can you tell I've been reading "The New Earth?").

I have been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
inspired lately by my fellow Co-Creators and now I'm
ready to state what my dreams really are (you are like, "Finally!!"). Well I have to say a big thanks to Megan (jewelchic) for being inspirational across the board, for showing me what it means for a woman to shine (like a jewel?) and to be fully herself. Love you Megan!! And I was inspired by Sharee for her "Dream your dreams, and let them go" statement in one of her vlogs I had been thinking that my dreams couldn't be spoken out until I figured out how they will manifest! WHAT??!! I am all about the "Don't worry about the how" so how is it that my thoughts just went on like that unopposed???? Well, I am monitoring those thoughts now, and challenging them when they don't feel good... And also thanks to Sharee (and others) for sharing her "I am" statements, they've really got me thinking!!!

I am also inspired by fellow Challengers like Antonio and Taragh (among others!) who are very expressive--don't we just love watching their videos??? I have been asking myself lately why I am not more creatively expressive, when I am a trained actor, love creative projects, used to write and direct plays, etc. and I am NOT doing any of that these days. It hadn't occurred to me to let my lights shine out on a daily basis, but I can see that doing the Vlogs is a great way to do just that.

More?? Yes, there's more! I have been watching some great TV dramas lately, like the Jane Austen stuff on PBS (Sunday nights). I just LOVE Jane Austen (I've even been to her cottage), LOVE Mr. Darcy (Colin Firth was so lovely in Pride and Prejudice, that I named my son after him! Yes, I'm a dork!). I also watched the Oscars this week, even though I didn't watch any of the nominated films. I just really love films and the whole film-making process is fascinating to me. I realized that I had forgotten just how much I love to watch movies, especially great dramas, and I haven't let myself do that for a long time. And watching them makes me want to do some acting, I really REALLY want to do some acting!!!

I intend to do some acting in the near future. There, I said it!

There are lots more Dreams I intend to manifest, and I am making a video today, Day 50 of my 4th 100 Day Challenge. I am going to get them out there, make them known, and stop hiding behind the "But I don't know HOW that will manifest." I suppose it's just an excuse after all.

Dream your dreams and let them go!!
Clarissa xxx

"It is because humanity has never known where it was going
that it has been able to find its way"

Oscar Wilde

Creativity, Counselling, and Chiropractic Care

(Photo is one of my classes with the Kent Youth Theatre)

I'm feeling so darn creative these days and like I am going to burst if I don't start doing something about it soon!!! Touble is, I am apprehensive because I haven't been (very) creative for so long that I am quite emotional about it. It almost feels scary, because I feel like I have not been myself fully for so long. I worry that people will say that it isn't me, that I will seem phony or silly, or that I am copying other people's style (what is my style, for instance???) I grew up being a very creative gal, but have lost that momentum over the past few years. I could literally spend every moment of my waking life creating art and communicating with people (I am an Aquarian, after all), but my life looks nothing like I desire it to look like. I used to do acting, dancing, film making, teaching, arts & crafts, and all sorts.

When I got married I redecorated our entire house in England (to drag it out of the 1970's), made a flower garden where we originally had concrete slabs, taught children's theatre, and even gave scrapbooking classes. When I became a Mother, I gave up my creative time, thinking it was selfish to do anything like that. Like art is just "extra" and has to be put off until later. I think that I felt that way because my father often put his art way ahead of everything else (he does oil painting), and that has hurt a lot of people over the years. So, I didn't see how to be a mother and a creative person, and ended up depressed on and off for about 5 years!!! For me, being CREATIVE is essential. Just is.

I am really close to setting some real intentions about CREATIVITY, I desire to SERVE the world with my talents, and even though it feels really weird to say that, i know that it is the way to live my best life. I need some support from anyone out there who has battled with doubts, etc. It feels like a huge step of faith for me to do this, to step out into the unknown, into something exhilerating, a bit like a free-fall.

On to the second subject... I'll just say here that my husband and I are having a few sessions of marriage counselling. We feel very positive about our relationship, but we've had some areas that we've needed help, er, "tweaking." It's working though, and I know it was the right time, because we attracted FREE sessions through a church. We needed the incentive and the cost was standing in our way. Did I mention that it was FREE??? YAY UNIVERSE!!!

I am also seeing a Chiropractor, who is into the Power of Intentions, and he is so positive and interesting, that sometimes I think I am going in for the adjustments to my spine just so I can have an "attitude adjustment" each day. Actually, I started going because I had terrible headaches and neck aches on and off for years, and they are finally clearing up. AND sinus problems are also going away, which was a very happy side-effect that I noticed after only 2 sessions. I have been having sinus issues for so long that I forgot what it was like to breath freely!! I totally believe that our body's energy has all the tools we need to be healthy, if we dont' stand in its way. My Chiro Dr. says: "The Power that made the body can heal the body." I know he's right. Now if I could just stop eating cookies...

Blogging, Being in the Now, Butterflies

(this post was made prior to the "A" post below, but I put it here so my alphabetical order will make sense!)

I'm back, after not Blogging for a few days, even though I had made the decision to blog daily. DARN!!!
Well, I am now telling myself that I can blog regardless of whether I feel I have something interesting to say or not. I was just waiting, for some kind of inspiration, but THAT isn't helping, that is causing me some stress over the blog. Wrong attitude!!

I am realizing, through reading and participating in the 100 Day Challenge, that it is BEING fine with what is happening right now is what creates Happiness. I can honestly say that my Happiness "set point" has been low all of my life, not having parents who modelling JOY to me... I end up expecting things to be negative, and I end up feeling uncomfortable when things are going too well!!! But that just means I need to stretch my "happiness muscles" and let them be uncomfortable for a bit. I am on a mission this year to create abundant happiness/joy/acceptance and to figure out how that happens and share it as i go!

A sort-of-quote by Eckhart Tolle (as told by Oprah in O Magazine): "All the stress and pain in the world is about not being in the now, because it's allowing whatever moment you're in, even if it is a moment of despair, to be that moment; wanting it to be something else is what causes the pain and the suffering." WOW. What I get from that is that when we Resist the present moment (perhaps by wishing we were in the past or somewhere in the future) we are only adding resistance to whatever it is we would rather have and keeping that from coming in. But to get to that something we'd rather have we have to WANT what we already have, or at the very least accept it.

I had to do this a couple of months back, in a big way. I was alone, hating living alone with my son without my husband (I was suddenly a single-parent), hating certain things going on in my body that were scaring me, being angry with the loss of control I felt, and upset that my marriage was in a precarious place. This was a big ol' pile of hell! Well, I had to accept all the anxiety, fear, pain, and aloneness and just let things "be." I guess I had no choice, I felt I could keep resisiting all of that or I could just let go and float down the stream of it.

And things have gotten a lot more peaceful in my life since I have done just that. My marriage is growing, my fears and anxiety attacks have nearly subsided, and my body is showing me that it is stronger than I knew. I now tell myself 10 times a day to just "Be in the Now," and my whole reality is changing!

Butterflies? Well this is because I have been noticing them everywhere lately. I bought a couple of decorative tins at a thrift shop the other day and I've been seeing butterflies here and there and everywhere! I may do a collage of just butterfly clippings if I can find enough of them. Maybe I'll ask my Co-Creators to be on the lookout in magazines for me...

Keep reaching for the thoughts that feel better!
Clarissa xxx

Alphabetizing, Ayurveda, and Asking!

FIRST! I have made the decision that I am going to Blog twice a week, as I now know that doing it every day is just not gonna happen!! While I was walking by the lake the other day I came up with an idea that is going to help me focus on my topics and ensure that I have no excuses not to write. Well, I have always loved a sense of order to things, so I have resolved to use the Alphabet as my format. And as a further bonus to my obsession with order, this method has a nice numerical tidiness, too! There are 52 weeks in a year, and half that is 26 (number of letters in the alphabet, hey!), so writing twice a week will take me twice around the alphabet in a year.

It's already working, because as I was thinking about my topics for today, the ideas that I wanted to write about were all "A's!" Definitely LOA (Law of Attraction, if you don't know).

NEXT! It's Ayurveda, which is something you either know about or you don't! It literally means "The Science of Life" and is an ancient health practice, which centers on a body/mind/soul approach (good basic description here). There are tons of sites that talk about it, so I am not going to elaborate (I'll leave it to the experts). My interest in it has grown over the past few years and I was recently drawn to delve into it more. My health has been up and down for several months and I made the decision recently to make a big change in how I treat my body. Low and behold, there was suddenly a workshop on Ayurveda going on in my area (not an area you'd normally find this!). I went to the workshop, found it fascinating and inspiring, met some awesome new friends and now I belong to the group that has formed out of the workshop. The thing is...

...this is not an easy change to make. I intend to follow Ayurveda about 80-90% and I have only changed about 20-30% of my health practices so far (maybe less). Oh, I'll eat well for a few days then end up at the donut shop! I do yoga in the mornings, but then I'll sit at my laptop for the rest of the day. I think you get the idea. The "western" way of treating our bodies is completely chaotic, especially if you compare it to Ayurveda, so it's no easy task to make a shift towards balance. I know, I know, I shouldn't be so hard on myself, it's just that it is frustrating me. Now that I have chosen to follow a path towards health I just want to get on with it!!!

LASTLY: The wonderful world of "The Law of Attraction!" This will feature LOADS in my Blogs, so don't come near if you can't stand the positivity! Basically, its all about Asking for what we desire in such a way that we can attract it to ourselves. Simple enough? Sometimes!
In "The Secret" there is a section where "Ask...Believe...Recieve" is highlighted as a main principle. This a good basic format for using the LOA. And it's been on my mind a lot more lately, especially the "Believing" part. Jesus spoke those words in the Bible (check it out here) and they are as meaningful now as they were when they were first spoken.

But what DOES it mean? I don't think it is so much about "faith" (faith in a higher being, faith as putting our trust in something outside of ourselves, etdc.) as it is our attitude about believing. For me, belief means that when I believe that I can manifest something that I desire, and I can let go of needing it then I can manifest it. I know that it is this step of letting go of the need and the fear that we might not get it that makes all the difference! Easier said than done, YES. I saw a video recently on YouTube where this is discussed, it's a very thoughtful video by Sam Harris (the singer not the writer).

Something from my own life (not amazingly powerful, but I think its clear enough). I have been asking for Free Things lately. Part of me needs to get things free because we have no income at the moment. Part of me just likes free things because it is fun to see what shows up! Well, I've been getting something free nearly every day! Some things are bigger, like furniture that I really wanted, and some things are small, like a coupon for free snack chips . I feel that because I am really not very attatched to the outcome things will usually show up! I don't worry about whether or not I'll get something free, I just accept that it will or it won't show up.

They chatted about this stuff on Oprah a few weeks ago, and someone shared that it is FEAR that hinders us from believing in the result. I think that sometimes we even fear asking, so then our desires never even get off the ground! We can also fear the recieving: the fear that we will get what we've always wanted!!! That last bit has actually been one of my biggest hidden fears, the fear of actually getting our heart's desire. Watch this beautiful video if you'd like to see a great teaching on this subject. And the discussion on Oprah is here.

Well, that is definitely enough from me today, I'm sure there will be more soon!

Keep reaching for the thoughts that feel better...
:-)
Clarissa

39......................!!!!!!

YAY ME!!!

I don't know why, but I am really excited about being 39! I am not sure that I am looking forward to 40, but that is why I have started this Blog, to get a head start being happy that I'm nearly 4 decades old. It is a funny thing, time, it does seem to speed up as you get older, makes us more anxious as the years fly past, but I am not going to be one of those women who is ruled by the number of candles on her cake. Though I have to say, I can't believe its been 18 years since I turned 21! Now THAT is a scary thought!!

But enough of that sort of thinking...

I feel that this is the time in my life to make a stand for my future, and my NOW. I've spent way too much time living in the past and living only for the elusive future (which never really comes, if you think about it...we are always in the NOW. Yeah, yeah, I've just read Eckhart Tolle's book "The Power of Now." Makes ya think!

A wise woman (Christiane Northrup) said that entering middle age is not the beginning of the end, but the end of the beginning! I love that! You know, I actually feel that I will become a real "grown up" this year of my life, leaving those childish attitudes behind me once and for all. Hallelujah! I feel a shift in the energy that is me.