(Photo is one of my classes with the Kent Youth Theatre)I'm feeling so darn creative these days and like I am going to burst if I don't start doing something about it soon!!! Touble is, I am apprehensive because I haven't been (very) creative for so long that I am quite emotional about it. It almost feels scary, because I feel like I have not been myself fully for so long. I worry that people will say that it isn't me, that I will seem phony or silly, or that I am copying other people's style (what is my style, for instance???) I grew up being a very creative gal, but have lost that momentum over the past few years. I could literally spend every moment of my waking life creating art and communicating with people (I am an Aquarian, after all), but my life looks nothing like I desire it to look like. I used to do acting, dancing, film making, teaching, arts & crafts, and all sorts.
When I got married I redecorated our entire house in England (to drag it out of the 1970's), made a flower garden where we originally had concrete slabs, taught children's theatre, and even gave scrapbooking classes. When I became a Mother, I gave up my creative time, thinking it was selfish to do anything like that. Like art is just "extra" and has to be put off until later. I think that I felt that way because my father often put his art way ahead of everything else (he does oil painting), and that has hurt a lot of people over the years. So, I didn't see how to be a mother and a creative person, and ended up depressed on and off for about 5 years!!! For me, being CREATIVE is essential. Just is.
I am really close to setting some real intentions about CREATIVITY, I desire to SERVE the world with my talents, and even though it feels really weird to say that, i know that it is the way to live my best life. I need some support from anyone out there who has battled with doubts, etc. It feels like a huge step of faith for me to do this, to step out into the unknown, into something exhilerating, a bit like a free-fall.
On to the second subject... I'll just say here that my husband and I are having a few sessions of marriage counselling. We feel very positive about our relationship, but we've had some areas that we've needed help, er, "tweaking." It's working though, and I know it was the right time, because we attracted FREE sessions through a church. We needed the incentive and the cost was standing in our way. Did I mention that it was FREE??? YAY UNIVERSE!!!
I am also seeing a Chiropractor, who is into the Power of Intentions, and he is so positive and interesting, that sometimes I think I am going in for the adjustments to my spine just so I can have an "attitude adjustment" each day. Actually, I started going because I had terrible headaches and neck aches on and off for years, and they are finally clearing up. AND sinus problems are also going away, which was a very happy side-effect that I noticed after only 2 sessions. I have been having sinus issues for so long that I forgot what it was like to breath freely!! I totally believe that our body's energy has all the tools we need to be healthy, if we dont' stand in its way. My Chiro Dr. says: "The Power that made the body can heal the body." I know he's right. Now if I could just stop eating cookies...
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